..surviving on 44kg of hope.

Gurl who thought she'd lost all hope loses last additional bit of hope she didn't even know she still had.

Despite assuming that she had lost every last possible ounce of hope long ago, she was surprised to discover that she did in fact, possess one tiny additional shred of hope, which she subsequently lost.

Everyone keeps telling her she has lost tremendously a lot of weight at such a short period and were concern of her well-being. How did you do that? What happen? Did you overwork? well all her life, it has never been an easy task to try to lose weight and she always envy her sis who are blessed with smaller bones and has slender figures.

Tried all kind diet programme since in her younger days, apples, cabbage soup, protein diet, vege diet, exercise, still couldnt achieve 45kg. it work for a while, but maintaining weight was the most difficult part. Gave up! she decided not to put myself through miseries anymore to look like a beauty queen. she wasnt fat, just a lil on the chubby side but maybe it was peer pressure and looking good will subject you to better advancement in life such as... popularity and better career options. But having said that... on better career options... she was rejected before for looking good... the interviewer told her that she was too beautiful for the job and they will be worried if she has to travel alone especially to certain countries. this is the application for an event job. :) haha... makes her feel good and upset at the same time.. she dont wanna be an ordinary jane but some people do judge pretty girls as bimbos. Do you agree?

I agree to a certain extent actually, my verdict through experiences was pretty gurls who over dress, nail coloured (with design motifs especially), came in killer heels for interviews are really slightly more bimboish... sorry dont mean to offend anybody here.. it's just a matter of my encounter to date. Gosh, ran out of topic... back to the subject of 45kg...

Frens and family members were concern as she is starting to become skeletal. some friends couldnt recognize her anymore, and a few commented she is not losing weight but nutrition and she looks very tired. Close friends who know her knew she was going through storms and rocking boats. she just couldnt help it, but she finds it hard to move on from a lost love.. she lost herself totally and faith, confidence, joy, laughter, hope all drown with her.... she tried climbing up but she keep falling over and over again and she became desperate for an answer. and anger slowly slip in because it was an unfinished business and she could not believe he left without a word... she was angry for she gave her heart and give him a benefit of doubt to all the promises.. only to find herself feeling so cheated. Men are liars!

For a couple of months she couldnt eat or sleep well, she just cried and motivating herself all alone. Lucky enough she has many friends who supported her through her toughest moment and she slowly move on. One day, she woke up, look at the mirror and saw how thin she has become. She has lost weight and look aweful, she has lost herself and felt as if nothing matters anymore. but there is a shred of hope left. She did not give up on herself afterall for she is was trying to pick herself up all this while and one day during her business travel, she met someone who starts to change the way she thinks. it was an instant attraction and chemistry but she didnt get to know him more as she has to leave. but with technology, you can google anyone... wow very impressive profile she thought.... and as she reads more and delve into his life story, she was dissappointed. You cannot have someone who doesnt belong to you. She doesnt wanna go to the misery land anymore.. it was ok!

she prefers to listen to her song "saving all my love" by whitney houston. for she did not give up... there is always hope.. to life, love, happiness... and she will rise again..! she may need a lil time, but she is a fighter...

for she can do it... i believe you too can..